Thursday, February 24, 2011
Kris-incomplete-honest-undone: Limbo land- where is that exactly?
Kris-incomplete-honest-undone: Limbo land- where is that exactly?: "My dad would use the phrase, 'limbo land' allot when I was growing up... where was that I wondered as a very young child-soon to learn it wa..."
Limbo land- where is that exactly?
My dad would use the phrase, "limbo land" allot when I was growing up... where was that I wondered as a very young child-soon to learn it was just slang for something else.. but now as I approach 44 yrs old.. I get it.
I understand where that place is- I think I am there every other week at least. I always seem to be there with one of my children for sure. Now more than ever I understand how it applies to relationships- finding a sweet spot with an adult child is really really difficult. I have to say, I fear I wont find it. I try not to think too much about when this child -was well just that -a child- it makes me cry. I know that they all grow up and I fully understand the fact of letting them "go" as they reach adult hood. After all I was at that threshold at one point in my life as well. I feel I had a whole lot of responsibility at this kids age(when I was there) as a single mom- but that was the choices I had made at that time. I had lived on my own for a while- with small moments at my parents home in between places to live. I always had a good job and tried to make a home for myself and my child- there was no choice in the matter. There comes a time where you wonder if they need to just jump and fly- its sad really- you don't want to push them but at times you know you are not helping by not pushing a little. Our heavenly Father talks about how he disciplines the ones He loves.... We as parents do the same no matter what the age of the child- I know the adult child does not see things this way for sure. Its a strange place to be here- I myself having this particular child- at a young age myself, made it a point from the very start to be the best mom I could be, I wanted to do the opposite of things that I had to endure as a child ( an alcholic and very dysfunctional environment) I did everything in my power to love and protect this person-and was in constant search on how to be a "better mom" all the time. So now I truly am in LIMBO LAND- all that love and energy I saturated this child in and the place we are now~ the relationship that I worked so hard on to be open and loving and kind and understanding with- I wonder sometimes- what did I miss? My heart breaks to think we are in this place- limbo. There is a limbo land- and I am walking through it every day- its a sad place, but one I will go through to pray that on the other side of it- will be a relationship I fought for- this child is so worth fighting for- at the end of the day- my love wins out over all of the above. Just as God never stops loving his children.. we don't stop loving ours~
1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I understand where that place is- I think I am there every other week at least. I always seem to be there with one of my children for sure. Now more than ever I understand how it applies to relationships- finding a sweet spot with an adult child is really really difficult. I have to say, I fear I wont find it. I try not to think too much about when this child -was well just that -a child- it makes me cry. I know that they all grow up and I fully understand the fact of letting them "go" as they reach adult hood. After all I was at that threshold at one point in my life as well. I feel I had a whole lot of responsibility at this kids age(when I was there) as a single mom- but that was the choices I had made at that time. I had lived on my own for a while- with small moments at my parents home in between places to live. I always had a good job and tried to make a home for myself and my child- there was no choice in the matter. There comes a time where you wonder if they need to just jump and fly- its sad really- you don't want to push them but at times you know you are not helping by not pushing a little. Our heavenly Father talks about how he disciplines the ones He loves.... We as parents do the same no matter what the age of the child- I know the adult child does not see things this way for sure. Its a strange place to be here- I myself having this particular child- at a young age myself, made it a point from the very start to be the best mom I could be, I wanted to do the opposite of things that I had to endure as a child ( an alcholic and very dysfunctional environment) I did everything in my power to love and protect this person-and was in constant search on how to be a "better mom" all the time. So now I truly am in LIMBO LAND- all that love and energy I saturated this child in and the place we are now~ the relationship that I worked so hard on to be open and loving and kind and understanding with- I wonder sometimes- what did I miss? My heart breaks to think we are in this place- limbo. There is a limbo land- and I am walking through it every day- its a sad place, but one I will go through to pray that on the other side of it- will be a relationship I fought for- this child is so worth fighting for- at the end of the day- my love wins out over all of the above. Just as God never stops loving his children.. we don't stop loving ours~
1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
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