This is a question I had to ask myself today- another left hook to the jaw- I feel like a prize fighter these past few weeks- If I had a camera implanted in my forehead- you would agree with me, but for now- you will just have to take me at my word. It pushed me to my knees in my some what dark and messy room, next to my bed to pray;
Dear Lord- Please, Please- protect my children and my family here in this home, take my fears and problems that only you understand and remind me to lay them at your feet each morning. You are the only one I trust to tell my hearts pain to and you are the only one who really "gets me". Put a thorny hedge around my family and keep those who mean us harm away from us. In Christ's name AMEN....
I know the next sentence will shock some of you- but that thorny hedge was meant for my some of my extended family- I really don't want them in my life- sound strange coming from a PROCLAIMED Christian?... its OK, you can say Yes... Again I say... we don't all have to agree-With ME-!!
It all comes back to boundary's again, or the lack of them on some peoples behalf. I was so sad that today I would love to be focusing on the Christmas Holiday... the full purpose of what Christmas is all about and my mind is full of the JUNK that comes from my dysfunctional family that has plagued me my entire life.
Again- I ask GOD to take this from me- I want to enjoy the fullness of what Christmas is about- the ultimate gift, the only gift that I will ever need or want my entire life- the one if I had to do it all over again and only had one choice- I would choose-..... a relationship with my Savior- the Savior that was born on Christmas to die for me. The one that if He had only one choice to do it all over again....I know w/out a doubt would choose to be born and die for me-you-us... This I know with my whole heart- So as I rest tonight- I ask God to continue to lead me, correct my path if I am needing that as well- but to keep those who may not change and has no intention to change to keep them away from my family, my children, my home- and I wonder as I do each day- is there people who will never change? If I am sad over that- how much more is Jesus Christ over that thought??
