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Generations to come.........

Generations........ I was faced with a strong and difficult conversation today with someone who I would of rather not talked to at all- seems to be a theme in my life these past few weeks.  God is working on weeding some things out in my life and that is very obvious to me.  To say I come from a dysfunctional family is being very generous and frankly makes my therapist laugh.  Toxic is more the word she likes to use.  I have learned to live with this fact but it comes with a price tag. Boundaries have been a big part of living this life I now have and I do it with a cost... sometimes it comes in tears... tears of my children who wonder why they can not see family members, thinking that their grandparents do not love them any longer etc...  Aunts and Uncles that they do not get to see like other families traditionally do,even at holiday times.  My husband and I must stay on course and committed to this family to stay healthy emotionally-spiritually etc... and we know that comes with a cost, like swimming up stream.  Its hard to do and we know as I had to deal with today and hear again how my mother "hates" me, this is not the people I want my children to be around and learn from.  I know now looking at my children tonight, I have made every choice that has been different from my typical "family" and siblings etc... I am a stay at home mom who home schools her children, I have made it clear that Jesus is Lord of my life, I teach my children to love God in every way possible but also respect themselves enough to make choices-not to be told what to do all the time as little robots.  I allow my adult children the room to make decisions to have the relationships with whom they choose- and do not force them to talk to other adults in the family just for sake of family.  (( Remember some families are toxic and not healthy))  I don't let people use my children as tools for their emotional manipulation of others. I stand my ground and I don't need my mothers approval for any of the above to be a wonderful loving mom to my own children. I truly know that there will be generations to come that I have broken the chains of dysfunction, alcoholism,drug abuse, sexual abuse, emotional and physical abuse- my great great grandchildren will be healthy I pray and I know it will be part of my legacy. For this I am proud- no matter what was said to me today, how this person wanted to hurt me with her words... she will never take that truth away from me... I have peace with that for sure! 
The only thing I do wish is I had a mother who I could share all of this with, one who sowed love and not hate and bitterness... that makes me sad- But some day- some day- my daughter & sons and I will have memories for a life time that will honor life, love, happiness and GOD..