Generations to come.........

Generations........ I was faced with a strong and difficult conversation today with someone who I would of rather not talked to at all- seems to be a theme in my life these past few weeks.  God is working on weeding some things out in my life and that is very obvious to me.  To say I come from a dysfunctional family is being very generous and frankly makes my therapist laugh.  Toxic is more the word she likes to use.  I have learned to live with this fact but it comes with a price tag. Boundaries have been a big part of living this life I now have and I do it with a cost... sometimes it comes in tears... tears of my children who wonder why they can not see family members, thinking that their grandparents do not love them any longer etc...  Aunts and Uncles that they do not get to see like other families traditionally do,even at holiday times.  My husband and I must stay on course and committed to this family to stay healthy emotionally-spiritually etc... and we know that comes with a cost, like swimming up stream.  Its hard to do and we know as I had to deal with today and hear again how my mother "hates" me, this is not the people I want my children to be around and learn from.  I know now looking at my children tonight, I have made every choice that has been different from my typical "family" and siblings etc... I am a stay at home mom who home schools her children, I have made it clear that Jesus is Lord of my life, I teach my children to love God in every way possible but also respect themselves enough to make choices-not to be told what to do all the time as little robots.  I allow my adult children the room to make decisions to have the relationships with whom they choose- and do not force them to talk to other adults in the family just for sake of family.  (( Remember some families are toxic and not healthy))  I don't let people use my children as tools for their emotional manipulation of others. I stand my ground and I don't need my mothers approval for any of the above to be a wonderful loving mom to my own children. I truly know that there will be generations to come that I have broken the chains of dysfunction, alcoholism,drug abuse, sexual abuse, emotional and physical abuse- my great great grandchildren will be healthy I pray and I know it will be part of my legacy. For this I am proud- no matter what was said to me today, how this person wanted to hurt me with her words... she will never take that truth away from me... I have peace with that for sure! 
The only thing I do wish is I had a mother who I could share all of this with, one who sowed love and not hate and bitterness... that makes me sad- But some day- some day- my daughter & sons and I will have memories for a life time that will honor life, love, happiness and GOD.. 

Moral regulations on your friends- or gentle correction- all in the name of GOD

WISE AS SERPENTS GENTLE AS DOVES..... DOES NOT TRANSLATE- CLUB ME WITH HIS WORD THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
I have recently been corrected for how I believe from a dear friend that has been in my life for many many years now.  However it was not over my behavior but over how one of my adult children is behaving.  The funny thing is, he is behaving pretty well. It really comes down to a moral issue- I believe no matter what we must treat ea person we come into contact with in our lives with love and respect, including our children if not so with more of the above.  The great thing is we dont all have to agree with "me".  I think the hardest thing for me is when some people do this CORRECTION all in the name of God.... but you dont feel as if there was any GOD in it at all.... Now I understand there will be and will forever be many different opinions on this issue.  Where I stand is this- Love your God with all your heart- lean not onto your own understanding- acknowledge Him in all you do and he will make your path straight....I cannot speak for my adult children and how they want to follow God or where their faith is leading them. I can say that I as a mom did all I could to teach them in the way I know was right and to love God and others w/ out conditions and to have a moral core in them that they would be proud of.  When they get older they dont always do what you think they should, they have to make choices on their own- but we as parents need to love them- support them as much as we can w/ out hurting others.  I look at each of my children with such amazement- one has had to over come such prejudice in many areas and with great confidence and success's, another who has a disability and is dealing with all that entails and doing it with such strength and love and last my little girl who still is finding her way but doing it with a boldness and will stand up for injustice in a heart beat.  Each of them are so unique and amazing- I am beyond blessed to have these children in my life- as one of these kids told me last week... the wonderful part of having kids is not that they turn out to be mirror images of you as parents but so different and all the best parts of you show- how amazing is that- I had to agree... AMAZING~ and to have God be part of this puzzle we are in makes it worth every heartbeat, even if it means losing some other people in the process- my thought will always be GOD first- Family second- Friends third.... and so on...

(( so I shall write.....))