Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Kris-incomplete-honest-undone: Limbo land- where is that exactly?
Kris-incomplete-honest-undone: Limbo land- where is that exactly?: "My dad would use the phrase, 'limbo land' allot when I was growing up... where was that I wondered as a very young child-soon to learn it wa..."
Limbo land- where is that exactly?
My dad would use the phrase, "limbo land" allot when I was growing up... where was that I wondered as a very young child-soon to learn it was just slang for something else.. but now as I approach 44 yrs old.. I get it.
I understand where that place is- I think I am there every other week at least. I always seem to be there with one of my children for sure. Now more than ever I understand how it applies to relationships- finding a sweet spot with an adult child is really really difficult. I have to say, I fear I wont find it. I try not to think too much about when this child -was well just that -a child- it makes me cry. I know that they all grow up and I fully understand the fact of letting them "go" as they reach adult hood. After all I was at that threshold at one point in my life as well. I feel I had a whole lot of responsibility at this kids age(when I was there) as a single mom- but that was the choices I had made at that time. I had lived on my own for a while- with small moments at my parents home in between places to live. I always had a good job and tried to make a home for myself and my child- there was no choice in the matter. There comes a time where you wonder if they need to just jump and fly- its sad really- you don't want to push them but at times you know you are not helping by not pushing a little. Our heavenly Father talks about how he disciplines the ones He loves.... We as parents do the same no matter what the age of the child- I know the adult child does not see things this way for sure. Its a strange place to be here- I myself having this particular child- at a young age myself, made it a point from the very start to be the best mom I could be, I wanted to do the opposite of things that I had to endure as a child ( an alcholic and very dysfunctional environment) I did everything in my power to love and protect this person-and was in constant search on how to be a "better mom" all the time. So now I truly am in LIMBO LAND- all that love and energy I saturated this child in and the place we are now~ the relationship that I worked so hard on to be open and loving and kind and understanding with- I wonder sometimes- what did I miss? My heart breaks to think we are in this place- limbo. There is a limbo land- and I am walking through it every day- its a sad place, but one I will go through to pray that on the other side of it- will be a relationship I fought for- this child is so worth fighting for- at the end of the day- my love wins out over all of the above. Just as God never stops loving his children.. we don't stop loving ours~
1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I understand where that place is- I think I am there every other week at least. I always seem to be there with one of my children for sure. Now more than ever I understand how it applies to relationships- finding a sweet spot with an adult child is really really difficult. I have to say, I fear I wont find it. I try not to think too much about when this child -was well just that -a child- it makes me cry. I know that they all grow up and I fully understand the fact of letting them "go" as they reach adult hood. After all I was at that threshold at one point in my life as well. I feel I had a whole lot of responsibility at this kids age(when I was there) as a single mom- but that was the choices I had made at that time. I had lived on my own for a while- with small moments at my parents home in between places to live. I always had a good job and tried to make a home for myself and my child- there was no choice in the matter. There comes a time where you wonder if they need to just jump and fly- its sad really- you don't want to push them but at times you know you are not helping by not pushing a little. Our heavenly Father talks about how he disciplines the ones He loves.... We as parents do the same no matter what the age of the child- I know the adult child does not see things this way for sure. Its a strange place to be here- I myself having this particular child- at a young age myself, made it a point from the very start to be the best mom I could be, I wanted to do the opposite of things that I had to endure as a child ( an alcholic and very dysfunctional environment) I did everything in my power to love and protect this person-and was in constant search on how to be a "better mom" all the time. So now I truly am in LIMBO LAND- all that love and energy I saturated this child in and the place we are now~ the relationship that I worked so hard on to be open and loving and kind and understanding with- I wonder sometimes- what did I miss? My heart breaks to think we are in this place- limbo. There is a limbo land- and I am walking through it every day- its a sad place, but one I will go through to pray that on the other side of it- will be a relationship I fought for- this child is so worth fighting for- at the end of the day- my love wins out over all of the above. Just as God never stops loving his children.. we don't stop loving ours~
1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Kris-incomplete-honest-undone: A week to reflect.....
Kris-incomplete-honest-undone: A week to reflect.....: "It always seems for me this week, the week right after Christmas and before New years day is the week my mind starts reflecting over the yea..."
A week to reflect.....
It always seems for me this week, the week right after Christmas and before New years day is the week my mind starts reflecting over the year past. For me its many things- some of the same things pop up every year in my mind... how am I doing as a wife and mom? Can my relationship get better w/ those around me and how I know it always ties into my relationship w/ God. Taking my temp in many area's as I go about my day this week has become the norm for me every year for many years now. There is a sadness that comes with it as well... people who has passed on in death, who I have loved and respected and I miss dearly. Friendships that I know have now ended due to Gods will and some due to human foolishness and or neglect. All which I trust is in Gods hands and I have to move forward- but as I am human, pain is part of who I am in this world and what I will feel. I think about things I should of said or not of said- points I should of made, and times I should of really just kept my mouth shut- no point was needed from me! I wonder how I could of showed even more love to my amazing children and what they have showed me along this year- one thing that keeps popping up in our home is "tolerance". Many definitions of this word....
•The ability to endure pain or hardship; endurance. [15th-19th c.]; The ability or practice of tolerating; an acceptance or patience with the beliefs, opinions or practices of others; a lack of bigotry. [from 18th c.
•kind: tolerant and forgiving under provocation; "our neighbor was very kind about the window our son broke"
•tolerant - broad: "generous and broad sympathies";
•tolerant - able to tolerate environmental conditions or physiological stress;
•tolerant - showing the capacity for endurance; "injustice can make us tolerant and forgiving"; "a man patient of distraction
•tolerant - tending to permit, understand, or accept something; tending to withstand or survive
Its a word that can be passed around in many ways, positive and negative
depending on how you are looking at it...
Allot of people would say they are tolerant- I have learned that this is a
word that is fluid in too many ways...I know God is not done with this
word in my life right now and will continue to teach me many things through it- I also know there are many that would love to say they "know and understand" but I would challenge them on it-
I have had this word in my life for the last 24 yrs in ways I would never even imagine and has been applied to areas of my life w/ my children & family that some will never ever
experience in their life time. I myself have learned I am not well versed in this area at times and am still learning first hand.
What makes me so sad is there are many people who are in silence with the need for tolerance- and we are called to love( w/ tolerance- )
This can cover any area of life where we are just asked by our Savior to love unconditionally and put on those blinders- not to sin- but to the human condition standing in front of us and love,comfort,and encourage.
In my home I do this in a silent way at times, most times- never to know if I am being successful at it or not- but I do it,non the less.
This year as you go forward,taking time to look back- don't spend too much time on that long look back. Just enough time to say- its done, cant go back- what did I learn ? and the lessons I can take with me into this new year that will enrich my life along with those I love...
I have spent many years of my life secretly looking back-thinking about the past- but I have learned these past few years- there is absolutely no use in this- even God was in ea of those moments-good and bad- and HIS love was the same for me, just as strong and fierce as ever- He was with me now as he was then- and He will be with me as this year moves forward-
He knows the plans for my life- He will bring them to pass as He sees fit and I can trust Him.
Is there anything you are looking back at- can you give it to Him this year, and know it will be safe in His care? You can walk forward w/ a lighter load-- maybe?
Praying that if this is your need, you will find the peace to do this, for
Your Father cares for you in all areas of your life-
As for me...I pray I will have more time to blog about my life,lessons and all that surrounds it -as this year starts...
God Bless you all as the New year starts-
•The ability to endure pain or hardship; endurance. [15th-19th c.]; The ability or practice of tolerating; an acceptance or patience with the beliefs, opinions or practices of others; a lack of bigotry. [from 18th c.
•kind: tolerant and forgiving under provocation; "our neighbor was very kind about the window our son broke"
•tolerant - broad: "generous and broad sympathies";
•tolerant - able to tolerate environmental conditions or physiological stress;
•tolerant - showing the capacity for endurance; "injustice can make us tolerant and forgiving"; "a man patient of distraction
•tolerant - tending to permit, understand, or accept something; tending to withstand or survive
Its a word that can be passed around in many ways, positive and negative
depending on how you are looking at it...
Allot of people would say they are tolerant- I have learned that this is a
word that is fluid in too many ways...I know God is not done with this
word in my life right now and will continue to teach me many things through it- I also know there are many that would love to say they "know and understand" but I would challenge them on it-
I have had this word in my life for the last 24 yrs in ways I would never even imagine and has been applied to areas of my life w/ my children & family that some will never ever
experience in their life time. I myself have learned I am not well versed in this area at times and am still learning first hand.
What makes me so sad is there are many people who are in silence with the need for tolerance- and we are called to love( w/ tolerance- )
This can cover any area of life where we are just asked by our Savior to love unconditionally and put on those blinders- not to sin- but to the human condition standing in front of us and love,comfort,and encourage.
In my home I do this in a silent way at times, most times- never to know if I am being successful at it or not- but I do it,non the less.
This year as you go forward,taking time to look back- don't spend too much time on that long look back. Just enough time to say- its done, cant go back- what did I learn ? and the lessons I can take with me into this new year that will enrich my life along with those I love...
I have spent many years of my life secretly looking back-thinking about the past- but I have learned these past few years- there is absolutely no use in this- even God was in ea of those moments-good and bad- and HIS love was the same for me, just as strong and fierce as ever- He was with me now as he was then- and He will be with me as this year moves forward-
He knows the plans for my life- He will bring them to pass as He sees fit and I can trust Him.
Is there anything you are looking back at- can you give it to Him this year, and know it will be safe in His care? You can walk forward w/ a lighter load-- maybe?
Praying that if this is your need, you will find the peace to do this, for
Your Father cares for you in all areas of your life-
As for me...I pray I will have more time to blog about my life,lessons and all that surrounds it -as this year starts...
God Bless you all as the New year starts-
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